Tinder profile First off, you need to start with a compelling bio. Feel free to c/p mine.

  1. El diablo, roar! + series of unrelated emojis
    This is great because it not only strikes fear in your potential mate, but it shows you have mad emoji game. Looking for a reason to send that floppy disk emoji? This is definitely it.

2. What's your favorite Supreme Court ruling?

Need I say more? RBG will be high-fiving you for this one.

3. How would you depict the essence of passion?

Get a glimpse of your date-to-be's soul with this one.

4. Have you ever been to a baseball game?

Answers to this question may be shocking, but you simply need to find out if The One has ever enjoyed America's favorite past time. Maybe it will be the glue that binds you together forever. Maybe you'll discover you both are ardent fans of avoiding anything and everything to do with baseball. MAYBE. YOU HAVE TO ASK FIRST THOUGH.

5. I just won free Jell-O from my favorite diner for a year!

Though you may be luring your date under false pretenses, how they react to this opening line will be crucial to judging their character.

6. I'm going to make you square like a clarinet

This one is pretty modest, but it's always a winner. Post your responses in the comments.

7. What is your opinion on broken glass?

This question is guaranteed to bring out the inner poet in your ideal match. Be sure you are ready to hear their answer.

8.I nominate you for the ice bucket challenge!

Alright, this might be a bit outdated, but bringing it up now will show that you have a true commitment to contributing to ALS and that you consider them close enough to join your inner ice bucket circle.

9. You already seem cool! I’m hoping you’ll meet me for drinks tonight at Smugglers Cove at 8 pm?

Only use this one when you’re trying to mass invite 30-40 potential dates to one location so you can do a speed-dating exploration of all your potential mates. Smugglers Cove is always a win because they have bomb cocktails and a 40-something person capacity, so you can remind your NOs that they need to make room for the rest of your hoard of lovers.

10. Do you think I should get nipple rings?

This is really a question for any occasion, so you might as well get it out of the way. So, what do you think?

Again, this question is good for all audiences to get to know how open minded our friends and family really are. NSFW.

11. Do you know a good recipe for lasagne?

Explore your date's culinary expertise with this classic question! See if they're secretly vegan, GF, dairy intolerant! If so, I bet you found your match you little dietary restricted reader.

12. I have a plan to rob a bank. Can you help me?

This is the reason we're all on Tinder anyway, so you might as well be transparent about it.

13. I think I danced with you in Zumba last week?

Here’s a good way to negate a ton of shitty relationships. If you’re unsure about someone this is a good question to test the waters.

14. I’ve noticed my aura glows while I look at your profile.

15. Can I borrow a cup of sugar?

This is particularly good while Mercury is not in retrograde, so I’ve heard.

This is a really good taste to see how reliable your potential date is.